


If I But Had The Words...

by MaketheWeirdSubmit



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, First Time, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 03:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4288863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaketheWeirdSubmit/pseuds/MaketheWeirdSubmit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Carmilla is a major sap and wants to tell Laura she loves her, but doesn't have the words. What's a broody gay vampire to do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I But Had The Words...

**Author's Note:**

> A short tidbit concerning my take on the stargazing episode because I'm terrified of where season two is taking us.

Carmilla's never been good with words. Sure she's a philosophy major and has some very strong opinions about the world, but she also grew up in a time when women were expected to be silent and then spent _over seventy years in a coffin_. So it goes without saying that she long ago lost whatever small measure of communication skills she had managed to pick up in her time as Maman's favorite daughter. It had never been a problem before - the girls she was sent after for Maman's plans were never that interested in what she had to say, anyway. They were all for her dangerous, seductive wiles. Until they were carted off to some certain doom, that is.

But now it _had_ become a problem. When she had first started developing feelings for Laura, her precious Laura, Carmilla had lacked all the right words to say but had wanted to get across her burgeoning affection in some way. And so she'd started with the bat wing charm - something to provide the Lauronica Mars with some form of protection while she insisted on baiting Maman. Then there was that infamous Zeta party where she had let herself be trapped and tied to a chair for nine days as Laura tried to starve her for information. An oversight that still smarted if Carmilla was honest, but something she had mostly gotten over.

The champagne and carefully-chosen outfit that night, complete with a corset, had been Carmilla's next show of adoration to Laura. But as previously stated, that had backfired and Carmilla had never wanted to spontaneously combust more than in the moment in which Laura admitted no knowledge of Carmilla's true intentions. Truly humiliating. She had tried, really tried, to not do anything more foolish after that for the stupid cupcake, but then Laura had to do things like show sympathy for her years spent in darkness. And then proceed to run off not even adequately equipped to tackle the sentient Escher painting that was the Silas University Library. After that night, Carmilla knew she had been well and truly doomed, eventually culminating in the ultimate gesture of all time: slaying Maman, and killing (i.e., maiming) the Light.

Something that Carmilla absolutely refused to regret, staring into the bright pools of honey that are Laura's eyes. It was here, in this moment, that Carmilla wished she was as capable with her words as the wordsmiths and poets and philosophers she held in such high regard. Carmilla wished she was capable of showering Laura with all of the words in the world, with all of the care possible in her rotted soul, so that she would know just how precious she really was. But then they were kissing before she could try, and Laura was taking off her ridiculous bunny sweater and sprinting up the stairs with a quickly whispered, " _Race ya!"_

Carmilla had quickly caught up, of course, beginning their evening of stargazing and drinking champagne in no time at all in a fit of giggles and breathless anticipation. And it was as Laura sat hanging on to Carmilla's every word about the constellations in the night sky that her desire to just tell Laura how she felt died on her lips. She was better at showing than telling, as she had demonstrated in the semester previous. For what was more powerful and stronger than words, but actions themselves? With this in mind, after she finished speaking about Orion's Belt she gently cupped Laura's rose-tinted cheek and kissed her with all the feeling in her body.

As Laura gasped into her mouth and Carmilla slowly lowered their bodies to the ground, she showed Laura in the way she held her close. She showed her in the way she peeled the clothes from her trembling limbs with caution to spare, kissing every inch of skin exposed she could reach. She showed her in the way she worshiped her lips and the tender application of her fingers. She showed Laura, in every way possible, her overflowing love for her in the way she whispered adoring words and kisses into her ear as Laura's entire world came apart and together again simultaneously.

The actual words would come later, Carmilla knew, when they were ready to say them. But in that moment, when Laura cried into Carmilla's neck with no way to contain her happiness, that the time to speak them aloud would be later. Yes, this was a time for showing, and as Laura calmed down and rolled them over, Carmilla was shown in every way Laura was capable the exact same what Carmilla had been trying to show her:

_I love you._

 

 

 

 


End file.
